﴿ Preface ﴾
After Residual Trace, I thought that the evolving, fluid nature of Lingering Suspicion would allow me not to have to write yet another book; however, the amount of material devoted to the likes of ingredients, recipes, and cooking started to take on a collective life of its own, creating categories and other sorts of organization, which in turn required calving that burgeoning structure into its own book (so as not to clutter the one within which they were growing)… so a birth metaphor, then.
While Haunting Note is a kind of a cookbook, the subtitle, “Reckonings of an Unmasked Palate,” is intended to warn you a bit about what type it is, namely one where your culinary guide is (a) multi-categorically neurodiverse, (b) not hiding any of that anymore, (c) super fond of having lots of fun with eating and drinking and related sensory and emotional experiments (while also trying to mitigate compulsive reflexes), but (d) not happy about meal prep basically at all. Many people in my immediate genetic tree are repelled by meal prep responsibilities and expectations.
I will be upfront about such preferences, challenges, and talents, including details around navigational struggles and successes that I continue to experience (beyond 60 some years) regarding food and drink and meal preparation. For example…
I have managed to support long stretches of vegetarianism, and even veganism, but then life happens. I am a resilient person, but that just means that it takes a while (sometimes months or years) before my resources get clobbered and I end up resorting to certain kinds of self-medicating surrender, largely snacking (and engaging in denial), to try to stave off a debilitating exhaustion. Many people in my family are also neurodiverse self-medicators, experiencing variable relationships with addiction. I am lucky enough to be plagued by no addictions other than with eating and (not alcoholic) drinking.
Personally, I am not accomplished enough when it comes to meal prep that I can effectively marshal the skills and energy and so forth that it takes to rigorously meet vegetarian constraints during such intense times, particularly not when I am being whelmed by sooo much else falling down upon me; in fact, part of the reason for writing this book is so that I can organize information in a way that helps me to make and maintain the changes that will live up to my emotionality (and associated morality).
I find that things tend to get better when I work them through, and I am doing that with this book.
The further hope is that maybe something in here will beneficially communicate with you as well.
If nothing else, try the snacks and cocktails. They’re really good as medications go.
[2026-04]